Hold on to your hats for this one! Carlo Cracco and I go head to head on Beppe Severgnini’s show L’erba dei vicini (literally “The Grass is Greener,” in an epic episode that pits Italy vs USA. This bright and witty television program compares Italy with a different country in each episode, while the audience and home viewers vote which country “wins” on various topics: food, politics, health care, lifestyle, etc. My thankless task here is to convince Italy that the United States has better, more fun Christmas traditions than Italy. In front of an Italian host, a world-famous Italian chef, an entire studio audience of Italians, and however many thousands of Italian home viewers. No pressure. What follows is a fun and intense wrangle of cultures. Cracco held the Italian flag high, citing Catholic traditions, panettone e nativity scenes. I fought back with gingerbread men, better parties, eggnog, over-the-top Christmas lighting, and cultural sensitivity that teaches us to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Boom. Sort of. The Italian vote wasn’t entirely in my favor, but I had a blast and I think the audience did too. Enjoy!